Grabbed by Reality
When all is down and all are dreaming
When the laughter stops and the jokes are a distance memory
I begin to float amongst the possibilities
I question my actions and revoke my mistakes
It’s a never ending journey
But a battle with winners
Will I come to and remain the same
Or will I finally make my inquiries into resolutions
As I wander all is dark but my thoughts are illuminated
I bounce off them one at a time
But I can’t remember what the last one was as I am tangent to the next
The last illuminated thought is extremely bright
It ‘s the thought of failure and the next, of disappointment
So I Halt
I let go, and I am grabbed, grabbed by reality
(copyright 08)
Okay, this poem is about how I feel when I'm laying in my bed trying to go to sleep. I have anxiety most nights, so it's always extremely hard for me to get to sleep. When I am in this state of mind, I feel just as I expressed in my poem. I feel like I know the things that I am capable of, and there are so many ideas that I have that I want to produce, until the thought of failure hits me. Then I get discouraged and realize that I don't want to risk failing. So I just shake it off, and try to forget about it, but I never do.
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2 comments:
Oh my gosh, I felt like I was reading my own diary when I read this. I know exactly what you mean about the whole failure thing. I often wrestle with that in my mind. It's good to know that someone else, besides me, experiences a thought overload when they are trying to go to sleep. I liked your poem! I hope you write a lot more.
It is amazing that a 38 year old man can feel the same way. Now I refuse to fail. With God and Jesus I can conquer anything. I wake up every morning around 3AM. That is when I speak with God and my Savior Jesus. They keep me in line.
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